In a ceremony held Saturday night at Massey Hall attended by dignitaries from across the beau monde world of Seniors Beer League Hockey, Veteran PCOHL player Jeff Kostick was inducted into the PCOHL Hall of Fame.

“He’s just been such a big part of this league for so many years,” said Toronto Maple Leafs Captain John Tavares. “He deserves this one. He’s one of the legends of the league. I’m really happy for him.”

“I don’t know, he’s just, like, the coolest guy,” gushed supermodel Bella Hadid, who arrived in a shimmering Versace emerald column gown with a plunging neckline and crystal-encrusted straps. “I’m not, like, a massive hockey fan, or, whatever, but like, I don’t know. He’s just slay. He’s got so much rizz. No cap.”

“Honestly, I would have broken his ankle like ten times if it wouldn’t have got me kicked out of the league,” added a PCOHL player who chose to remain anonymous. “And my wife doesn’t want me home Friday nights.”

Kostick will now embark on a publicity tour of North America and Europe, jointly sponsored by Shock Doctor Groin Protection (“Shock Doctor — Your Knob is Our Job”), and Tinactin Groin Spray (“Tinactin — There’s no such thing as a healthy scratch”).

From all your friends in the PCOHL, CONGRATULATIONS JEFF!!!