Well, well, well.

It is that time of year again. The time when all the prognostications, all the punditry, all the predictions, calculations, and prophecies carefully formulated upon a learned review of the stats and standings so far will get you exactly one cup of coffee if you happen to have $1.83 in your pocket.

Early Game – Portugal vs Ireland

The early match pitted first place Portugal against the very last place Ireland. Got that? First. Versus LAST. So. Let’s see how this one went.

Ireland sniper Paul Riopelle drew first blood midway through the first frame followed quickly by Brrrrrrrrrrrian Spinner Spence to make it 2-0 for the underdogs. Riopelle grabbed a second before the period ended and suddenly the Lisbonites are licking their wounds, down 3-0 after one.

But lots of hockey left fellas! Come on! Let’s go!

That would be Ireland’s bench saying that. The Portuguese manage only one goal, a nifty trademark twine-bulger from rookie sensation Don Hambly, but absolutely no progress for his team since the period’s only other goal was Riopelle completing his hat-trick.

4-1 for the Irish going into the third period. DOCtorrrrr Joel May puts another nail in Portugal’s coffin a few minutes in. Scott Wilson responds for the Irish, an overall stellar game against his former team, but the Irish added one more before the buzzer blew and sent the Portuguese into their room with a 6-2 thrashing.

There was nothing fluky about this Irish win. They looked tremendous and outplayed the Portuguese in every facet of the game except perhaps goaltending (both keepers were excellent). This feels like Ireland’s notice to the league that they are not to be underestimated. A reminder that they started in last place last season and went on to the gold medal game.

That’s PCOHL Hockey!!!

Ireland’s Player of the Game was Brian SPPINNNNERRR Spence while Scott Wilson wears the cock hat for Portugal, doing all the heavy lifting for the Lisbonites as they struggled against a rejuvenated band of leprechauns.

Late Game – Scotland vs Slovenia

The late game pitted the vaunted Scots against third place Slovenia who have only beat Scotland once this year, and that one by a single goal.

Things looking pretty good for Scotland in this one as all their hitters were present and accounted for.

Might be a tough night for Slovenia.

So say the pundits, prognosticators and predictors.

Greg Platt gets things going early to put Scotland in a one-goal hole but hey, this is Scotland they…whoops Bob King doubled that up to make it 2-0, but a 2-goal lead is nothing for this Scottish team who reg…oh shit Slovenia scored again, Neil Wilson this time, but the Scottish aren’t in second place for nothing so look for them to strike back and…uh-oh Slovenia scored again to make it 4-0 after one.

What the Freeland is going on here??

Ok, no worries, Scotland was scene scrumming with a very impressive chalk talk between periods and looked verrrry hungry coming out for the second…oh darn Jim Maguire scored another for Slovenia. But that seemed to put some pep in Scotland’s step and…Greg Platt scored his second for Slovenia followed by Bob King scoring his second for Slovenia and it was suddenly 7-0 for Slovenia going into the third period.

If you’re waiting for the Cinderella comeback, you will have to keep waiting. Taking its foot off the gas, Slovenia STILL won the third period 2-0 to end this shocker with a score of Slovenia 9, Scotland 0. Zilch. Nada.

Not at all what the pundits, prognosticators and predictors had in mind.

It’s that time of year in the PCOHL boys!! ALL BETS ARE OFF. This is the 20 game pre-season Leo talks about. And based on the last few weeks there is absolutely no team in this league who has a better shot than any other at winning the big prize on April 28. So BUCKLE UP!

Slovenia’s Players of the Game were sniper Greg Platt and human force field Frank the Goalie Rispoli, seen here being interviewed before their legions of fans.

Scotland awards their POG to Enzo Ianno who, at puck drop, was seen in a Miami nightclub sipping a Pina Colada and telling stories of Scotland hockey glory.

Next week we finish round 4 with the leprechauns resting, this week’s losers facing off, and Slovenia up against a rested Italian squad.